couples
Couples Therapy in Auckland or Online
A relationship can feel like home — or like the loneliest place in the world.
Whether you're stuck in painful patterns or reeling from a recent rupture, it can be hard to know how to move forward — or even where to begin. Perhaps you're having the same arguments on repeat, struggling with intimacy or trust, or feeling more like adversaries than teammates.
Even issues that seem practical — sex, parenting, money, communication, work/life balance — often have deeper emotional roots. And when those roots are misunderstood or ignored, disconnection grows.
That’s where couples therapy can help.
I offer couples therapy in Auckland and online, working with partners to understand not just what is happening, but why. My approach is grounded in attachment science, systems thinking, and somatic awareness, drawing on the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT) to help couples shift from reactivity to connection.
Your individual histories — especially your attachment styles and early relationship templates — shape how you respond under stress. When these patterns clash, it can feel like your partner is the problem. But lasting change happens when couples stop working on each other and start working on the relationship together.
You don’t need to be perfect — just willing. Willing to turn toward each other, to listen with more curiosity than defence, and to co-create a culture of shared care.
Sometimes that leads to repair. Other times, it means navigating separation with clarity and compassion. Either way, the process can be transformative.
If you’d like to explore working together, I offer a free 20-minute consultation. It’s a chance for us to meet, hear what’s going on, and see if we’d be a good fit.
“When we recite our relationship vows, perhaps we should say, “I take you as my pain in the rear, with all your history and baggage, and I take responsibility for all prior injustices you endured at the hands of those I never knew, because you now are in my care.”
“Fears and expectations that date back to earlier experiences of dependency, but that didn't arise during courtship or dating, are activated as commitment to the relationship increases. As a result, partners start to anticipate the worst, not the best from their relationship”
— Stan Tatkin
try a free conversation and see if it’s right for you
no commitment, pressure, or obligation
how does it work?
free consult
We connect for around 20 minutes, either in person or online. We talk about what you want to bring to therapy and you will get a sense of how I work.
session one
If we feel we can work together your first session will involve us agreeing on a treatment plan and any immediate strategies needed for your current situation.
be seen
Bring as much or as little of yourself as you feel able to and be seen and accepted, without judgement, exactly as you show up.