Couples Therapy Auckland

Structured Couples Counselling, Informed by Nervous System, Attachment Style and Neurobiology.
Relationship Therapy in Devonport, North Shore, Auckland & Online.


You are about to invite an outsider into your relationship.
read: how to choose the right couples therapist.

Every relationship hits hard places. Whether you're facing constant arguments, betrayal, distance, or just a quiet feeling that something’s not right — couples therapy can help you find your way back.

Why Couples Therapy?

Couples therapy isn’t just for couples in crisis. It’s for partners who want to:

  • Communicate without escalation or shutdown

  • Heal from infidelity, betrayal, or broken trust

  • Move out of patterns of blame, avoidance, or control

  • Rekindle emotional intimacy and sexual connection

  • Understand why conflict happens — and how to move through it safely

My Approach: I am a level 3 PACT therapist and integrate that with Attachment Theory, Nervous System Science, Neurobiology and a structural approach to rebuilding your relationship from the ground up.

  • Attachment theory — how your early relationships shape adult intimacy

  • Neuroscience & the nervous system — understanding fight, flight, freeze responses in conflict

  • Relationship Architecture - building resilient, robust relationship structures for the long-term.

This isn't just talk therapy. We work experientially — in real time, with what’s alive between you — to bring awareness and healing into your relationship.

What to Expect in a Session

Every couple is different. There’s no set formula because what you need depends on:

  • Whether there’s been betrayal or infidelity

  • How conflict shows up between you

  • Your individual attachment styles and history

Some sessions are structured and active. Others are slower and more exploratory. You’ll begin to notice how your nervous systems impact each other — and learn to co-regulate instead of co-escalate.

I work with couples:

  • In person in Devonport, Auckland (North Shore)

  • Online across Aotearoa / NZ

  • Flexible daytime availability, with a free 20-minute consultation

Common Issues I Work With

  • Frequent fighting or shutdowns

  • Communication breakdowns

  • Sexual disconnection

  • Parenting stress

  • Emotional withdrawal

  • Affair recovery

  • Mixed-agenda couples (one leaning in, one out)

  • Poly / open relationship boundaries

Why couples work with me

  • Trauma-informed, deeply respectful process

  • PACT-trained and somatically aware

  • Clear, steady presence in intense moments

  • Honest yet non-blaming guidance

  • structured, clear plan

  • Located in Devonport, easy access from the North Shore & wider Auckland

You don’t need to be on the brink to begin. You just need to be willing.

👉 Book your free 20-minute consultation here

👉 Read more about how I work with couples here

👉 Read about how to choose the right couples therapist here

Simon Banks is a Psychotherapist and Couples Therapist providing psychotherapy for individuals and couples therapy in Devonport, Auckland, on the North Shore and online.

READ: How Fight, Flight & Freeze Show Up in Relationships